Self love is the act of choosing yourself in all actions, situations and life choices. Especially the small actions and situations. Many people say they love themselves because they treat themselves to nice things and regularly do acts of self care (bubble baths, massages or whatever your ‘thing’ is) but that’s not self love.
Self love is deep. Self love is choosing you. Accepting yourself as you are now. (You hear that? As you are now!) Self Love is choosing to define your own foundations of life, choose to express yourself, honour your interests, passions and skills and live your life YOUR WAY as guided and directed by your soul.
Self love is respectfully declining fitting in or towing the line when you recognise it’s at the expense of yourself.
Self love is choosing to generate and RECEIVE your own LOVE, ACCEPTANCE and MEDICINE rather than trying to please and/or seek the love of others by being compliant.
Self love is where you turn to yourSelf for nourishment. And to have that internal reservoir of love and infinite connection to Source requires active cultivation. Often people believe they love themselves and on the surface they do, but internally they are very depleted and malnourished which leads to the feeling of being hollow. This internal hollowness is naturally uncomfortable and we want to reject it and often we do. We return to fitting in and doing the superficial acts of self love. But what is required is for an individual to LEARN and understand what LOVE means for them! Which is unique to everyone. It means loving yourself even if you recognise and acknowledge you are hollow or depleted or have been for a long time disrespecting/not honouring or abandoning yourself.
Lack of self love often appears in the form of resentment, judgement or irritation towards others. Lack of self love creates expectations on others to be how you need them to be. You make them responsible for what you are not providing and/or honouring in yourself. Lack of self love is choosing to live a life of discord. Where you go through the motions and do the ‘right’ things but ultimately feel stuck, bored, dissatisfied. Lack of self love can (and often will) have you trying to prove your value and worth to others. It will have you chasing ‘success’ and will lead to your identity being so wrapped up in your achievements that you can begin to worry or panic and then push yourself into overdrive if you haven’t ‘achieved’ in a while. You will be motivated from a place of aspartame like lack.
Lack of self love will lead you to be controlling. You will restrict yourself. You will be restrictive of others. You will develop coping mechanisms that bring momentary relief but leave you with a yucky ‘hangover’ feeling of knowing you just disrespected yourself.
Deeply loving yourself will lead you to re-evaluate EVERYTHING in your life. You will begin to explore the very fabric of YOU in a way that you’ve possibly never done. You will begin to notice how harsh and hard or regimental, conditional you are of yourself and it may initially feel confronting but (hopefully) liberating! And instead of choosing to beat yourself up when you see how restrictive and limiting and cold you’ve been to yourSelf you instead sit with yourself in the discomfort and love yourself. You STAY with yourself when what you really want to do is seek relief or run.
Self love is loving yourself when you feel unloveable.
It is choosing yourself when you feel rejected or abandoned.
It is taking off the disguise and cloak that has you living a life that is a lie to you.
Self love is bravely, boldly, believing in and being your Self.
And from it all the self trust, soul guidance, exiting co-creative adventures, flow and abundance come.
You set yourself free.
You light up.
And then your light naturally and organically IGNITES others.