So…. my big boy stole yesterday.
What did he steal, I hear you ask….
An assortment of crystals.
Here’s what happened.
My three munchkins and I had a bit of time up our sleeve as we were considerably early for an appointment. I was wondering how they heck I would entertain 3 children for 45 minutes when the heavens opened up and we stumbled upon a crystal shop.
The kiddies saw it before me, and proceeded to race ahead.
After soaking up the crystal rays, sharing which ones were our favourite and chatting with the store owner, we headed off to our appointment.
On the way home, my big boy seemed to be acting slightly suspicious, fumbling his hands in his pockets. My mumma intuition signalled and I became curious. “Whatcha got there Eli?” I ask casually curious.
He paused, fumbled more, the pause continued. My internal radar was now peaking.
I pull the car over on the side of the road – something I never do, and look him straight in the eye.
“Matey, what’s going on?”
His face sunk. “I’ve done the wrong thing, Mum” and proceeded to pull the prized crystals out of his pockets.
“Yes, you have made a very poor choice.” I said with a clear sternness that managed to still be gentle.
The firm (one way) discussion was over in minutes. It was clear Eli realised he had let a couple of people down, including himself. “I’m so ashamed” he muttered a few times over as he looked into his lap. I drove home.
The sun was near done for the day and the evening activities were underway, Eli sat opposite me doing homework while I replied to emails.
“Mum… do you still love me?” he asked.
Oh, the smile on my heart spread. An opportunity to chat, openly.
“Of course I do! I will always love you, but loving you doesn’t mean I am going to be happy with all of your choices.”
“I know. I’m sorry, it was the bad part of me that took the crystals.”
Ah… what a wonderful place to start, I thought.
“You know mate, each and everyone one of us has that bad part inside them. You’re not alone.”
“Really?” he says.
“Yes. Having that bad part allow’s us to know ourselves in deeper ways. It gives us a choice, we can choose to be the bad part, or we can choose to be the good part.”
“When you took the crystals what did it feel like?”
“But when you think about apologising to the lady and handing the crystals back, how does that feel for you?”
“That feels really good!” he enthusiastically exclaims.
And which one of those parts of you is the you you’d like to be?” I asked.
“The good part. It just feels better.”
“Yes, it does feel nicer, doesn’t it.” agreeing with him.
“I know what I am going to say to the lady tomorrow”….. and he shared with me how he was going to apologise, along with offering to clean her shop front glass.
“I feel a bit nervous though and embarrassed for what I’ve done and who else might hear when I apologise.” he quietly shared.
“Yes, I imagine you would, but you see that’s part of the consequence and choice you made, matey.” I re-confirm.
This Elven Woodland Warrior child has such a giant and wise heart.
It blows my mind children’s desire to explore themselves, testing and experimenting with boundaries and aspects of themselves to further develop their sense of self and identity. And it is such an honour to be able to participate and guide in that process.
Before he jumped out of the car at school Eli says unprompted and out of the blue “I don’t know why I did it. It was really stupid, and it’s not something I’m ever going to do again.”
I nod my head.
This parenting gig is a surprising one. It comes with no instruction manual, for the children or I!
I am learning so much!! About mySelf, about my children, about our darker and lighter shades (they get triggered all the time as a parent – does anyone else find that?!) about connection and most importantly about growth… and how vital it is to know our darkness for us to grow.
So this afternoon we are off to the crystal shop a second day in a row, to take back the handful of crystals and apologise.
I will let you know how it goes.