Dealing with Stealing.

Living With Soul

IMG_9334

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So…. my big boy stole yesterday.

Yes, stole.

What did he steal, I hear you ask….

Crystals.

An assortment of crystals.

Here’s what happened.

My three munchkins and I had a bit of time up our sleeve as we were considerably early for an appointment. I was wondering how they heck I would entertain 3 children for 45 minutes when the heavens opened up and we stumbled upon a crystal shop.

The kiddies saw it before me, and proceeded to race ahead.

After soaking up the crystal rays, sharing which ones were our favourite and chatting with the store owner, we headed off to our appointment.

On the way home, my big boy seemed to be acting slightly suspicious, fumbling his hands in his pockets. My mumma intuition signalled and I became curious. “Whatcha got there Eli?” I ask casually curious.

He paused, fumbled more, the pause continued. My internal radar was now peaking.

I pull the car over on the side of the road – something I never do, and look him straight in the eye.
“Matey, what’s going on?”

His face sunk. “I’ve done the wrong thing, Mum” and proceeded to pull the prized crystals out of his pockets.

Oh dear.

“Yes, you have made a very poor choice.” I said with a clear sternness that managed to still be gentle.

The firm (one way) discussion was over in minutes. It was clear Eli realised he had let a couple of people down, including himself. “I’m so ashamed” he muttered a few times over as he looked into his lap. I drove home.

The sun was near done for the day and the evening activities were underway, Eli sat opposite me doing homework while I replied to emails.

IMG_8876

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Mum… do you still love me?” he asked.

Oh, the smile on my heart spread. An opportunity to chat, openly.

“Of course I do! I will always love you, but loving you doesn’t mean I am going to be happy with all of your choices.”

“I know. I’m sorry, it was the bad part of me that took the crystals.”

Ah… what a wonderful place to start, I thought.

“You know mate, each and everyone one of us has that bad part inside them. You’re not alone.”

“Really?” he says.

 

“Yes. Having that bad part allow’s us to know ourselves in deeper ways. It gives us a choice, we can choose to be the bad part, or we can choose to be the good part.”

“When you took the crystals what did it feel like?”

“Not good.”

“But when you think about apologising to the lady and handing the crystals back, how does that feel for you?”

“That feels really good!” he enthusiastically exclaims.

And which one of those parts of you is the you you’d like to be?” I asked.

“The good part. It just feels better.”

“Yes, it does feel nicer, doesn’t it.” agreeing with him.

“I know what I am going to say to the lady tomorrow”….. and he shared with me how he was going to apologise, along with offering to clean her shop front glass.

“I feel a bit nervous though and embarrassed for what I’ve done and who else might hear when I apologise.” he quietly shared.

“Yes, I imagine you would, but you see that’s part of the consequence and choice you made, matey.” I re-confirm.

“I know.”

This Elven Woodland Warrior child has such a giant and wise heart.

It blows my mind children’s desire to explore themselves, testing and experimenting with boundaries and aspects of themselves to further develop their sense of self and identity. And it is such an honour to be able to participate and guide in that process.

Before he jumped out of the car at school Eli says unprompted and out of the blue “I don’t know why I did it. It was really stupid, and it’s not something I’m ever going to do again.”

I nod my head.

IMG_9253

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This parenting gig is a surprising one. It comes with no instruction manual, for the children or I!

I am learning so much!!  About mySelf, about my children,  about our darker and lighter shades (they get triggered all the time as a parent – does anyone else find that?!) about connection and most importantly about growth… and how vital it is to know our darkness for us to grow.

So this afternoon we are off to the crystal shop a second day in a row, to take back the handful of crystals and apologise.

I will let you know how it goes.

Lauren x

12 Comments to “Dealing with Stealing.”

  1. Hi Lauren. I don’t know if you remember me – Lisa (as in Lisa and Harley with the 3 kiddliwinks, Taigum, C….). Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I stumbled across your blog through Tara Bliss’ recommendation. Don’t know her but I am so in love with her. I’m also loving everything about your blog and what you’re doing. It’s spectacularly beautiful, honest and I’m so happy for you. Love love love this post. It’s resonating strongly with me and some stuff going on with my big red headed girl. Bless her. Lots of love and blessings to you. I’ll continue to follow your beautiful space. Lisa xx

    • Haha! Yes!!! Of course I remember your bright shiny self! What an absolute treat to have you share in the Inner Hue creation. Thank you. And Tara is a gem, isn’t she. That lady is like a supernova! It’s a funny trip parenting isn’t it. So wonderful and wild and full of surprises. Glad this post resonates, I like to share the things others may hide away, because it’s real and universal as we are all the same at heart – made of stardust! ;P Well, I hope you and your little tribe are doing well. Thank you for touching base and connecting. It’s made my day and it’s just gone 10! :) xx

  2. This is an incredible story and you sound like an incredible parent. I know that by the time I was a teenager I had incredibly low self worth because when I was naughty as a child I was yelled at and punished but never taught a valuable lesson of why it was actually wrong, never asked why I did it and never made to feel like I was forgiven or still loved afterwards. To know that we do all carry shadows inside us that sometimes come out to play, and to now that that is okay and doesn’t make us any less good or loved, is a beautiful thing and I’m so glad your children are lucky enough to have you teaching them that x

    • Oh Sophie, your words brought tears to my eyes. Literal tears. Thank you for evoking that kind of emotion and feeling within me. x

  3. This was such a beautiful post Lauren. It sounds as though you dealt with the situation really well. I think we all know, even as kids, when we’ve screwed up but its so helpful to have someone explain where that shame and guilt comes from. Its also wonderful that you encouraged him to apologise instead of as a punishment as I have seen that scare people off from apologising in the future. xx

    • Oh thanks Chloe, it was really instinctual actually. I think any parent would respond in the same way. :) Glad you enjoyed it though, it just felt right to share rather than keep private. Thanks for your support! xx

  4. What a beautiful post Lauren. Your children are so lucky to have a Mum who has taught them to not only know the difference between right and wrong but to communicate it so clearly with you. No fear, no lying – just beautiful open, honest and loving conversation. I also absolutely love where you said “you are entirely up to you”. So very true and something to carry through life when things challenge us.

    • Sarah thank you. I think it’s more that I’ve been blessed with pretty rad and wild little people! And yes that quote is something that completely gets me to own me in all my shades. And that is definitely something I would like to share with my children. Definitely not a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination, but like everyone we can only try our best. Thanks for the encouragement. :) x

  5. I loved reading this! I’am just going through the beginnings of this awareness now as my boys begin learning right and wrong. It is so beautiful to read your Eli’s learning process of making his negative into a positive learning experience. What a clever and beautiful boy you are raising. You must feel so proud :)
    Thank you for sharing!

  6. this is amazing, I just found your site and I feel like I know you. You see, you speak my language and is not everyday that my soul and spirit can say that. I am a mom of two amazing spirited kids, and I love how you handle this situation. You are amazing and I am so thankful to InstaGram for bringing distance down and connecting you to me. sending magic dust and lots of endless laugh your way.

    love and blessing
    Raquel

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *