I never thought Inner Hue would include Sci – Fi! But here I am, posting a very odd blog slightly conscious this will make me sound incredibly nuts.
This experience, and the couple others I have had like it, are as baffling to me as it may possibly be for you.
I no longer judge them, I just take them as they come. Shrugging my shoulders with a “wow, aint life beautifully strange” stashing the gold with the gratitude of a hungry circumstantial thief and moving on.
So, just take this as an adventurous tale with a message.
Think Star Wars, Avatar, Never Ending Story or any Marvel comic.
Which is kind of how I look at these out of the ordinary experiences.
We’ve all got our “stuff”. Our triggers, our challenges, the things we push up against and fight.
Dragons like “abandonment” “unworthiness” “not good enough” “rejection” “unloveable” “victim”. We all have them. I’ve battled a few of these dragons, and I’m pleased to say they’ve ended more in an aware friendship rather than sword slain death, cause I’m not so keen on killing.
A couple months ago a quieter dragon decided to get all fiery. Her name is “Unworthy”.
This whole going out on your own, exposing your core to the world to be of service is exhilarating, beautiful and at times incredibly bat shit scary! Anxiety, which I have rarely experienced peaked. I was edgy and pushing to prove.
Fearful could have been my middle name. Actually nope, scratch that – it was my first name.
To me, nothing was working. Inside or out. I’m sure you know what I mean.
And then something magical, surreal and un-believable happened.
I had my friday night mentoring session with the ever wonderful Tara Bliss. (This chicka is the ants pants) Basically, she lead me to the valley’s edge of Self Worth where the dragon lived, then looked at me. I knew what I had to do.
Move into and through my belief that I am unworthy.
And… come out the other side.
But I wasn’t sure how to do this. Because I had been trying and everything I had used in the past wasn’t working.
So, I offered it up.
“Universe, I need help. And I know you’re going to deliver, with super speed and effectiveness.”
Then I trusted.
Next morning I woke early, instantly knowing the mornings meditation was going to be… shall I say – different.
Seriously, hold on to your seat here, cause this wild ride will take you “out there.”
Words are slightly inadequate to describe it.
Here’s what happened.
As soon as I sat for meditation energy streamed from my base chakra up, filling me with gold shimmering thick light. I was advised I was being deeply cleansed. I could feel my energy and vibration instantly and rapidly rise.
Gently yet confidently a guide informed me I was going to be taken back in time.
For a moment I got nervous and pulled back.
Fear kicked in. It felt like being buckled into a roller coaster when rides make you white knuckled and giddy.
I took a few centred breaths then sunk into it. Whoa…. here we go!
I was taken back to a time and place in the past where Earth was still some kind of mythical land open to life and Beings from all over the solar system. This time pre dates any recorded time we currently have on Earth. Sounds nuts I know, don’t worry my head thinks this too.
Strangely though, something inside me feels like it may be possible.
Didn’t I say it was going to push your beliefs?
No point judging though, just closes flow down, so keep rolling with the story.
In this place I was outspoken, I was in my truth, I was representing Light, I was serving as Seer. I was a Visionary that Light Leaders consulted. And, I became considered a “threat” to other forces that weren’t so light.
Here, in this place and time my only eye, (yep, I only had one eye) was savaging and brutally removed along with my pineal gland.
I could no longer serve.
The despair I felt was enormous. I felt like I no longer had any worth and I experienced this deep despair and heaviness briefly in my meditation.
I was then shown very quickly a long line of lifetimes, flicking like a movie reel, where worthiness had been a challenge and how I carried it in my energy over and over impacting my ability to create from my Soul and serve truthfully and authentically.
Suddenly and momentarily I realised I was back to 2014 before being told I needed to now see the “other side”.
Within moments I was guided forward into the “future”, but it was clear that this future is happening now.
This is beyond words, but let me try to explain.
I am shown my power.
And not just my power, because it was clearly evident that where I was everyone also had it.
Lived from it.
I was shown all my Light, radiance, perfection and brilliance. And it was the same and equal to everyone else’s.
I was shown what could be created when we chose to live from this place.
Words cannot adequately describe this. It was so complex and yet so simple.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
The guide who took me on this “Night Before Christmas” like adventure strongly re-enforced that unworthiness and worthiness are a choice.
A challenge, yet a choice.
And that the “future” me I saw, is me – and you right now, we just have to choose it.
Then the meditation was over as quickly as it started.
Maybe my guides know I enjoy a good old story.
Or, maybe it is true.
An incredible shift occurred.
The fear that me and my dragon once held in our hearts has vanished.
A Course in Miracles calls this the “Holy Instant”
A line was drawn in the sand. And so…. a new chapter has begun.
Come join me in this chapter.
Make friends with your Dragons.
Much crazy wild Sci Fi love to you.