So this post is a follow up to the last one about Stories, our story and the meanings we create and attach to them, that either allow us to thrive and strive forward like gentle giants or immobilise us on a merry go round where we are in a repeat pattern that we just cant seem to break, it’s inhibiting growth and preventing us from experiencing our juicy richness. And seeing as it is the beginning of a brand spanking new year, I thought why not take a bit of a sticky beak at them.
Stories. They are oh-so powerful and equally as dangerous.
Dangerous when our meaning of what is happening doesn’t reflect the reality of what is occurring.
Does that sentence make your heart jump up in your throat a little? It does mine.
Here’s an example.
My story: I am nothing. I am worthless. No one could possibly truly, deeply love me. I am always abandoned. My mother died. My father was angry a lot. My stepmother was hot and cold. My husband left me and our child to work away when there was no need, all this means that I am nothing.
The reality: My mother got an aggressive cancer, it was beyond her power to continue living. My father was mourning his wife and was a sole parent of two children at age 30. My step mother had personal difficulties that were big and challenging, my husband wanted to provide the best for his family. I am loveable. I am loved. I am strong and radiant and I will never leave me.
Pretty different stories right? I believed the first one for a very very long time, and it incapacitated me enormously and prevented me from experiencing love, acceptance and intimacy with friends and family. I did not thrive, I struggled.
Our stories either provide us with a scapegoat or a gusty wind, wide sails and a calm sea depending on the hue of the shades we choose to look at them through.
A wonderful dear friend continued to encourage me to use my other skills as an intuitive reader (my night “job”) in a similar way as I do in my day “job” (community work) by working with people one on one and in small groups as he heard my call to contribute and participate more in my passions.
I heard something entirely different… Let me add that during this conversation, I was highly defensive, only hearing my current story and truth – that my way was the “only and right way”, my open-mindedness rapidly shrunk to a narrow lens, AND it tainted a beautiful scenic coastal drive.
The Story: That what I was during the day working in the Social Services sector wasn’t good enough, and that no matter how dedicated I was I did not have the capacity to support change in that area. And, who would want to use my service of “weird, crazy” skills at night? (a story I developed after being oddly received as a teenager about the unseen things I would see/sense by family and friends.)
After I was all hot and bothered, I felt this internal niggle that forced me to ask mySelf…
What truth am I holding on to in this moment?”
“What fundamental belief is this conversation challenging?”
“What actually happened and what story am I creating here?”
The Reality: That I was looking for a way to use more of my skills, however the mainstream social services framework doesn’t recognise my other abilities which is where a lot of my richness is. He was encouraging me to stoke my fire, expand myself and share with others outside of the community services sector, to live a passionate life.
What the story prevented me from experiencing was deeper alignment, authenticity, connection, new insights and diversity in my day.
Achieving alignment, inner freedom and expansion requires us to take a few mammoth steps away from whats going on allowing ourselves to peruse the conditioning, societal templates, biases and destructive internal reactions of resistance, anger, jealously, judgement among others, to see if they still fit and SERVE us and our story. It’s like being Sherlock Holmes and doing some detective work around what is pushing those buttons! (now come on… who doesn’t want to be a detective?)
When we take a breather, and step back from buying into a story and question what’s going on first, we loosen our monkey tight grip from the tale we are telling and open ourselves to a whole new realm of possibility.
This is also an energetic process too. Don’t forget that energetically you radiate out invisible information through frequencies that reflect the kind of story you are telling. As a guide, look to your feelings and the energy held in your body and in what areas, to give you insight as to what you may be projecting. Your energy will naturally shift as you shift, but those of you like me, who love to explore all sort of landscapes, you can also actively work with your personal energy for depth of clarity and insight. (oh my gosh, it is so much fun!)
Taking the time to review and revise our stories is like taking at look at our map to keep on track (or off the beaten track) to ensure we’re cruising through some bomb-diggity scenery.
So what old story are you going to re-write today? What new possibility will you step into?
Much Love to ya!