So how was your Christmas? Everything you had hoped for? Not as bad as you imagined? Or possibly, all that you dreaded and more? It comes in all shapes and sizes huh. We can only roll with it can’t we? Well the Christmas door is closed for another year now, with the New Year just days away. It has me reflecting on all aspects of 2013 and casting my mind to 2014.
One of the themes that continued to make itself known to me in 2013 was Cycles.
This time of year is always a great opportunity to catch up with friends and family. Moments of open sharing and laughter are had over food, lazy afternoon’s are spent kicked back watching children play, reading a book or taking a stroll. It’s an opportunity to share with others the year past as well as getting clear on the things we wish to Abracadabra (which literally means in Hebrew, “I create what I speak) our intentions for the New Year.
At the beginning of this year, in fact, even mid year this year, I had no idea I would start a blog and Facebook page or that I would put my feelers out and hold small informal workshops with the intention of developing and building on them. This has definitely taken me by surprise. But the most pleasurable of surprises!
However the composting and birthing of new directions is rarely straight forward and often creates inner turmoil of some degree. And this is most certainly how it felt. I noted that when I dived right into the un-comfortability of it, I became increasingly frustrated and/or despondent. Yet, when I simply observed my Self, my activities, my rising and changing emotional states, it was quite humorous and amusing. Often producing a curl of my lips and under the breath giggles at my own antics! I also observed something else of great importance, I noticed cycles. And not only a cycle, but many cycles.
Yep, cycles within cycles.
Boy, I never knew one could have so many swirling rings all happening at once! Like a ripple, they expanded out, and were intrinsically inter-linked with each other. I had cycles around parenting, my choices and attitudes to it, cycles of emotional states and responses, eating cycles, cycles within relationships and friendships, cycles of inactivity and activity, of creativeness to complete and utter stumped-ness.
These all happened within a larger cycle of; Building momentum, to heightened activity and productivity with the ability to manage the busyness of 3 children, running a household, working during the day, doing readings of an evening and taking a breather when I could, to transitioning into complete and utter chaos, where I felt entirely overwhelmed, on the brink of breaking and pulling my hair out! Only to have the Universe plop a new perspective, approach or idea in my lap, once again restoring calm. The dance between my rippling rings was superb.
But whoa! What a roller coaster ride.
After a couple of oblivious cycles, where my self talk was something like “My god, I’m back here again?” the Ground Hog Day or the Ground Hog Cycle had become apparent, giving me the awareness and power to now decide how I was going to manage it best.
I’m hoping you can relate. Your cycles may not look like mine, but I am sure they are there. See, this is the natural flow of life. Of the universe. From our cellular structure to the Solar system, it is the current of life.
I was all push, push, push and hate, hate, hate on me, on my performances at work and home, and conducive it was not! Internally the pushing and hating, with the ugly inner critic having all sorts of things to bark at me would have me plummet internally, my then my only coping mechanism was to do the big fat McFakey smile accompanied by the robotic response to the general masses of “yes, everything is great”, which didn’t often help, just hindered.
How could I manage this? I pondered. And pondered. And pondered.
Sometimes the simplest answers are the hardest to grasp.
Acceptance and Honouring.
Yep. No mind-blowing formulae. No rocket science required. Just plain old feeling into where I was in each one my cycles and being okay with it, and then Honouring the Acceptance.
When the lows were low, I watched and observed and respected them. Partaking in gentle activities and reducing the expectation of “Everything needs to be great all the time”….. cause well, it doesn’t. And when the creative highs were high, I enjoyed it for what it was, and where I was at, knowing that in time I would plateau, with my natural rhythm evening out.
And suddenly, everything was easier. I was kinder on myself and on others.
So, I have grand plans for 2014. I bet you do too. Yet, I am a natural universe unto myself, as are you. We are not robotic machines to force and pump out expected outcomes, and we have to stop expecting this of ourSelves. Walking into 2014 armed with this helpful piece of wisdom is going to make the world of difference! Maybe it will for you too. Listen to your flowing rhythm and cycles and take cue from that.